Five things - TLO

Five Things NOT to Do... when auditioning for the Lost Ogle.

Okay, I'm a little short on time so this one is going to be quick (that's what he said.)

1. Admit to not knowing anything/not caring about sports.

Yeah dude! I'm TOTALLY a Sooners fan! Yeah! Woo!!! Go Sooners! Sam Bradford is like, my hero or something! He was that one dude that played for the Thunder, right?

2. Get wasted while logged into your Gmail account, since TLO is now a part of your address book.

Patrick... I'm going to need you to delete those pictures, please.

3. Send the wrong tape. Or any tape. Dummy.

Wait, you mean this was a WRITTEN audition?! Right. I guess that makes sense, being an obscure local social blog and all. Uh... do you guys think you can send me back that tape of me singing I Will Survive into the hairbrush? Thanks.

4. Be Spencer Hicks.

I don't really have a legitimate reason for this. He heckled me at the Speakeasy once because I was trying to usher my wasted friend out of the bar while he welcomed the next comedian, and I'm just going to guilt him for his split second of douchebaggery until the end of time. I hear he's actually a nice guy.

5. Prioritize academics.

I should be gearing up for my last undergraduate finals week, ever. I should be doing homework, studying, and writing papers. What am I doing instead? Writing this, that's what. DO YOU READ ME, TLO? That's love. That's REAL love.



xoxo