So I just got home from work - it's fairly late, and I'm walking the dog before I turn in for the night. We're just about to head back up the stairs when I hear voices from the neighboring balcony. It's my two male neighbors, one with his girlfriend, and they're inviting me over to have a night cap. This seems fairly normal, right? They're college-aged, much like myself - what's the harm in having one drink with them?
Okay Reader, I think it's kind of a given at this point that I already have a propensity for Bad Ideas. "Drinking with the people who live across from you" certainly SEEMS like the neighborly thing to do. Surely there will be no consequences to such an action!
Wrong. Totally wrong. Super wrong. To this day, I still can't even begin to wrap my brain around how wrong I turned out to be on this one.
So, anyway.
Back to the story.
Single Guy and I flirt somewhat throughout the night. Granted, we're drinking, so that's a given, and I'm only mildly interested even after a beverage or three... but he seems nice enough, so I figure I'll hang out for a little while. This turns into a repeat the next night - walk across the breezeway, hang out for a little bit, then walk back. On this night, I discover he's on parole for marijuana possession.
"Crap," I think to myself, "I've already given him my phone number, too."
Well, no worry. Maybe I've just made a new friend, right? Nothing has happened to make things awkward, not even so much as a hug at this point, so maybe I still have something to be optimistic about.
If there were an easy way to convey some kind of cackling, psychotic laughter via text, I would be doing so right about now.
The messages started out really normal - at first. Conversational. Hey-how-are-you, I'm-good-how-are-you. You know, normal.
Then the flood gates opened.
He started texting me... pretty much non-stop. Texting a lot is good - it shows you're interested. Texting question after question to the point where I can't answer one before the next three are sitting in my inbox - that's a tad worrisome. It was completely inane stuff, too - I'm talking like, "What's your favorite animal? Favorite food? Favorite thing about your favorite food? Favorite color? Favorite car? Favorite brand of decongestant? Favorite brand of tampons?"
Okay, I might be exaggerating - but only a little. My point is that it was completely overwhelming. Even if I managed to calm him down, by the next day he'd start back up again. It got to the point where - if he saw my car in the parking lot - he'd text me to ask what I was doing. And then he'd text me again to ask what my favorite shampoo is.
At this point, I began to wonder if it was possible to get a restraining order against someone who lives 10 feet away from me. I tried - once - to get him to back off. Admittedly, I could have tried harder. But when it didn't work, I did the only other thing I could think of to do - brush off.
Luckily, they moved out a few months later.
xoxo
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